i felt compelled to blog, maybe it's the circumstances.

i was touched by mr. chirnside today, especially admiring his courage to put up an earnest presentation of his surprisingly complicated family background during pastoral care period. not to mention the lesson he incorporated into his life story. it's amazing how from such a complex background he's become the teacher he is now, a fervent believer and a model example to both his students and children (:

it was also through him i realised the band of brothers i've found. 7 guys doing almost everything together: eat, soccer, study, pokemon, dota, making fun of ahem and the list continues. even though we've had arguments (sometimes sprouting from one person only), we always end up patching up. i've always had the idea that the smart person treasures his friends, and so i will. close friends are hard to come by, thus i shall not be a fool and fail to see that (:

speaking of friends, only recently i've formed a special affinity with a special someone. i can't quite describe it as the nature of our relationship is hard to put and properly expressed in words. it's not quite the average experience. sometimes it's in the form of a secret getaway, at others it swiftly transforms into an exchange of sheer jest. the things we do together and the names we give each other are altogether worth remembering. one thing amazing to observe about close friends is how it all starts out and how it blooms into the bond it is now (: it only brings about anticipation as to what the future holds haha.

i'm feeling unbelievably ok since the eugene incident a few days back. it was like being caught between a crossfire. my initial feelings of frustration?anger?anxiety? have dissipated and i'm back to normal. chirnside's timely presentation serves as a reminder that my life has a bigger purpose (: one that serves up a fat reward at the end of it all.

maybe arsenal's great performances have also contributed to my overall mood. i can't believe they're performing so well without henry. go for the premiership and champions league, it is finally within grasp! :D fabregas is my new role model!

I find the level of hypocrisy unbearable.

my take: everything's blown out of proportion.

this is how misunderstandings are stupidly weaved into something so simple. paul lee never tried to turn dalton against you. a recount is a recount, the motive is straightforward. his reaction was purely out of shock. like i mentioned, he and josh never said anything. pyung's remarks today were harsh i admit but that is him, he was not an amplifier for me if you are in doubt, those were his words.

i felt it was inappropriate, but i guess you should be aware, the discussion wasn't specifically aimed at you. we were talking about a few people and i find it so amusing that you had to pop up just at the point when we started talking about you. alas a misunderstanding arises. we did not make any character attack on any person, it was just the usual common gossip session. i can imagine stumbling upon people discussing about me, but unless i am very certain those comments were defamatory, i wouldn't flare up and get all upset just because my friends were speaking of me. yes you're sure it was about you, but what exactly was it about did you bother to find out? you think someone has insulted you, you don't know what exactly and you're not at all concerned about finding out the reason? i suppose at this point you can argue that the act of talking behind someone's back itself is reason enough to get angry, but not to the extent of firing back. Go to hell, Paul Lee and John Foo. do you understand exactly what you meant by that? is it not an indication that you've turned friendship into animosity?

so now i'll tell you, we were talking about quiet people. the irony. the discussion was sparked by something our chinese teacher said in class. happy?

it's times like this that i find there really is no choice but to use the tongue as a weapon, or at least a shield. i feel as if we've all become enemies. gosh i can never look and talk to you the same way again, seriously. that's probably why i'm spending time on my blog when i've long given it up.

.. and, i think i'll end my blogging career here and now. the worse thing in ages happened to me today. gossiping and being caught red-handed by the centre of discussion. gosh the odds of being struck by lightning are higher.

1st clarification: andre wasn't mentioned at all, which brings in me doubts as to whether you even heard correctly.

2nd clarification: paul and josh were the listeners, thus i absorb all blame.

3rd clarification: all i made was one comment, and it was a rather general statement about something i felt was true.

i admit, it was gossip through and through. however your reaction was rather melodramatic. no effort to clarify the matter was made, your assumptions were quite bold and the fact that you were willing to severe all ties by just one careless remark shows really the nature of our relationship.

i'm not saying that i'm in the right, or you're in the wrong. i'm just saying that gossiping is something so common it's unavoidable, and everybody is guilty of it even if it is the most minute and insignificant of examples. surely it does not deserve the treatment you have imposed. i'm not about to make this a hate message, so i'll save my thoughts for myself and focus on the matter at hand. i know you detest backstabbers, thus i'm apologetic for talking behind your back.

i want to resolve this and i hope you accept my apology, after which life goes on.

stood by my missus in the lobby,
asked to carry bags of madame.
elevators rush to the sea,
rummaged through my coat for the key.
after tea lounged on the sofa,
my lady spoke of everyone she knew there.
she paused
grabbed my wrist,
said, "now darling, there he is."
i looked up.
my surroundings stirred and smeared.

his eyes calm and distant
his mouth so severe.
though half his age i was,
i've never been in love
before then.

max, you're so distraught.
perhaps, i'll help you out.
your wife was so much more than me,
but i can be her now,
i can be her now.

rushed down the stairs to that man.
mr.summer, he nodded his head.
with laughter in his eyes
a smirk followed close behind.
we're strangers but i'm sure we should be married.

i spoke to my master,
she nodded her head.
though i was young and scared
with max standing there,
we took our first step.

max, you're so distraught.
perhaps, i'll help you out.
your wife was so much more than me,
but i can be her now,
i can be her now.

i can be her now.