and break the truth with more bad news he left a scar, size extra large

Tue, Nov 4 - Physics Paper 1 (1hr), Physics Paper 2 (2hr15)
Wed, Nov 5 - Physics Paper 3 (1hr15)
Thu, Nov 6 -
Fri, Nov 7 - Maths Paper 1 (2hr)
Sat, Nov 8 -
Sun, Nov 9 -
Mon, Nov 10 - Maths Paper 2 (2hr)
Tue, Nov 11 - Chem Paper 1 (0hr45), Chem Paper 2 (1hr15)
Wed, Nov 12 - Chem Paper 3 (1hr), English Paper 1 (1hr30)
Thu, Nov 13 - English Paper 2 (1hr30), Maths Paper 3 (1hr)
Fri, Nov 14 -
Sat, Nov 15 -
Sun, Nov 16 -
Mon, Nov 17 -
Tue, Nov 18 -
Wed, Nov 19 - Econs Paper 1 (1hr), Econs Paper 2 (1hr)
Thu, Nov 20 - Econs Paper 3 (2hr)
___________________________

14 papers in 17 days and 19 and a half hours of examinations, not bad, and the subjects are clustered together which makes recalling facts and revision so much easier, unlike during prelims when i had to recall physics and econs stuff after a week. there's also a huge break between econs and the rest, which is ideal for maximum mugging, but i think 5 days is a tat too much. if it were shorter, exams would be over sooner.

i'm aiming for 41 raw score now :/ that would mean 41/42, i'm allowing just one point to be dropped in english. my mum says i should just aim high so should i fall it wouldn't be so drastic. it makes sense, but in the end if i try my best and don't hit the spot there's nothing i can do. oh man i hope prelims results won't deal a blow to me and knock me off momentum.

andand i was so relieved after prelims ended i forgot to write to rachel. now i feel bad and i'm half blogging half writing.

i think i took too long a break, i haven't done much since prelims ended on monday. i have played dota, soccer, wii and watched alot of television. today i was aching all over my lower body and was so lethargic from flu and a headache i didn't do anything at all. if not for a good session with my cousin, i would feel like a total bum again. at least now i'm a little better in vectors and functions, if thats any consolation for almost a week of relaxing.

i'll probably start the cycle again on sunday. so until 20th november, i'll be living in seclusion and seeking enlightenment on how everything in ib works. you won't see me here until 20th at least, time to activate 100% concentration, 100% commitment and 100% motivation.

if you want to help me concentrate, please do any (if not all) of the following:
1) offer monetary incentives (assets can be negotiated)
2) help me out when i have questions regarding physics,maths,chem,econs,etc
3) pray for me
4) don't distract me

:D

that said and done i'm off.

she's just a girl who claims that I am the one but the kid is not my son

More football highlights at fcfootballblog.com

you can't don't love arsenal <3



carlos vela is now my 3rd favourite arsenal player

uncanny, strange deja vu but I don't mind- I hope to find the truth

i played dota yesterday, the first time in a very very very long time. surprisingly, i haven't lost touch. after orienting myself to the hotkeys and know-hows, and asking paul about the recipes for certain items, i felt familiar to dota again. haha. contrastingly, charles, who has been playing ever so often, has maintained his ever so noob skills. it is super frustrating playing with charles on your team. he makes zero contribution, and always comes up with the same excuses for a piss poor performance post-game.

anyway prelims are finally over! while it is the end of prelims, there's no time for a break, just a breather. it feels so strange. this feeling, it's like there isn't anything to study anymore. although i know there is so much more to do if i want to achieve my objective. there's little i can do with chem and physics now, so i'd probably shift all my time to finishing up the unknowns of math. i really hope i get as high as possible for chem and physics prelims this time round, madam carol low will go nuts because i jumped so many grades at once, and for once i'm in her good books.

i had a strange deja vu. it feels so familiar this suppressing sort of feeling cum struggle thing. i was lucky to escape monday with a relatively easy math paper, at least i felt it was. it is kind of hard to concentrate on one thing when another is filled in your head. actually it is really hard. i think dota session cleared my mind because my mental activity is back to normal.

i don't understand it though, not entirely. the mind is complex shit.

maybe i've changed. not character wise, but you know just my mannerisms and priorities. i realise i have turned fairly detached from human relations, but so has everyone else at school. maybe i was being insensitive, or my natural sense of selective sensitivity failed me then, or i wasn't thinking properly.

whatever the cause, things have become familiar again this dire feeling of i-don't-know-what-to-do. i have a feeling, a feeling because i have no concrete plans, that i will employ the same tactics i used to. i have done this so many times. indecisive people tend to be like this, i know i am this type and as much as i want to be an adult i lack the credibility of responsibility and effective decision making. this things can't be trained into people, it comes with experience from growing up, thats what seperates an adult and an adolescent right.

reputation is a retarded thing, and as much as i want to play life like i play dota: restart after each conclusion, it can't be done.

tomorrow i'm off to my cousin's for help on vectors and functions because i need it.

you know, achieving a high grade is my biggest ambition at the moment, i's what i'm mugging my ass off for. if i mug and drop so far from it, i'd feel like shit because it tells me one thing: i suck, blatantly. there's no point spending so much time on books if i'm not absorbing anything.

last thing: i changed my braces today back to the original colour blue! its going to hurt for a day or two, my pretty dentist said i'll be able to attach the brace cap onto my awkward upper incisor next session which chances to be a few days before ib exams. i hope it doesn't affect my performance during the exam period because i know its definitely going to hurt.

this is the resolution the end of all progress the death of revolution it bleeds all life away

i just printed my final cas stuff out and i'm going to get my final signatures on monday. my last prelim paper is on monday.

after monday it'll be pure mugging until november 21st. and then prom, and then korea, and then ns.

A QUASAR FROM REALITY WITH DAMAGED MENTALITY

one more maggot paper and prelims is done.

all that occupies my mind nowadays is physics, mathematics, chemistry, economics and english essays. 2 months and i've become a knowledge freak. i have just read through my sister's history textbook because i felt like starting on math tomorrow and not today. i should have taken history man, but then i wouldn't know what subject to replace. chemistry is easy, math is compulsory, physics is easy, english is compulsory and economics is my future. heh, and i wouldn't drop chinese b for the world.

i can just picture myself getting 41 for ib, and also picture myself missing the mark since the latter is so much more likely. i would kill myself if i missed 41 by like a grade or two.

communism is the worst thing that happened in chinese history. calling for democracy by demanding the removal of democratically elected leaders is amusing. also, wouldn't someone learn his lesson if he got convicted once for sodomy and it totally crippled his political career? milk that is not milk. the US just died in a year, and i find mccain funny because he said he isn't good at economics. i just wonder what the economic condition on the global front will be like in 30 years. that is the time when i'll probably be raising a kid or two. i think there won't be crude oil left and every country would possess nuclear weapons.

we have been poured out into a loveless bride

2 more papers!

i can shift back to gear one for now.

studying in front of the tv works when i'm listening to:

as i lay dying
august burns red
parkway drive
house vs. hurricane
stone sour
slipknot
log

any other music and i can't concentrate, funny mixture for a productive time of learning. as i lay dying, august burns red and house vs hurricane are christian. actually i knew that ages ago but the fact just resurfaced like a novelty: metalcore christian bands exist.

and i realised corey taylor fronts slipknot AND stone sour. one with a mask and the other without.

heh.

i'm proud of my knowledge-thirsty self!

turn your back and run now you haven't got a chance now

i'm surviving, 5 more papers!

are you ready for a change to come? there's already one already one

the blue angels are the air demonstration squad for the us navy, they use the f-18 hornets! below is a video of the thunderbirds which is the us air force air demonstration squad they use the f-16 fighting falcon! both are great, though i would prefer the f-18. singapore don't have f-18s though, they are used as carrier-launched fighters and singapore don't have carriers. interesting to note, malaysia owns 8 f-18s -.- why am i not surprised.



exams in 2 days i feel the urgency! yesterday i was almost totally distracted by the tv and my sister's newly bought taiwanese dvd serial. 大S is super chio.

thunderbirds and blue angels

manchester city got bought over by freakinrich middle eastern merchants. once again i doubt arsenal are going to win any trophies this season. however, i do have a feeling denilson is going to become the next flamini, or even better. too early to predict anything anyway.

prelims in 5 days. i'm not as ready as i envisioned myself to be a few weeks back, but i think i've made much progress. i'm almost there in every subject haha. i hope at least. right now, i don't want to make any predictions, cos the last time i did it backfired in my face. i don't want to look like a fool again, aim for 36 then get 26, best.

i became a fan of the usaf thunderbirds and the usn blue angels! omgosh check out their videos on youtube, just brilliant. i don't know why but i get fascinated easily by planes nowadays. i went with harrison to the rsaf open house last saturday, everything was super cool. i won a lucky draw to a ride for 2 on the C130 but i forgot to bring my wallet and ic so i had to forfeit my ride! i hated myself for a split second haha. you know, i can't remember how to fly a plane already. everything's so vague in my head, if i were thrust into a cockpit now i'll probably panic. heh. all the procedures and numbers have stayed dormant so long i need to wreck my brain to recall.

oh well, i won't be flying any time soon. not until after exams. every time i think of the big picture, i get so motivated to study hard, less i regret later on.