when you're gone

ambition
relationships
discipline

i can't seem to find a balance juggling all three at the same time. it always is slanted to one or the other, or at most two. somehow it becomes exhausting when i try micromanaging and i eventually give in. right now, i haven't figured out what is driving me to work out, gain weight and do my best in bmt. i really haven't, timmy told me the young recruit will start thinking alot when he settles into tekong, how true. just before sleep, or even when i am standing at attention, my mind wonders beyond camp into the life i once had and towards the people i hold dear. i feel nostalgic mostly, like 'what am i doing here?' or 'what are my friends doing now?'. yes its that sad.

anyway update:

i've enlisted into BMTC School 1. i don't know whether i'm allowed to disclose anymore, but i'm in HAWK company. ok thats about all i'm going to reveal, less i get charged or something. life in tekong has been more than pleasant in my opinion, contributed by various factors. first, i have a good bunch of bunk mates. gangsters i have none, 2 smokers but i have nothing to complain about because they are not allowed to smoke in the room. i'm glad i have people to talk to that share the same conversational wavelength. second, i stay on the second floor, which makes everything sooo convenient. third, i have welfare-oriented sergeants, you can guess what kind of treatment that equates to. fourth, i'm building up my physical fitness! fifth, i gained weight! like almost 3kg.

so ya, life isn't as bad as i thought it would become. life in tekong passes by really fast because everyday is activity packed. morning becomes night really quickly. before i know it, i'll be doing alot of chin-ups, become a fattie and then graduate into a private heh.

i think i'll get used to this really soon. the military life. actually i already have, but it somehow restarts whenever i book out and in. btw i've been listening to avril lavigne alot latelyy, i use it to fall asleep at night haha.





when you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you
when you're gone, the face i came to know is missing too.
when you're gone
the words i need to hear to get me through the day
and make it ok
i miss you.

JOHNY

is serving the nation.

you may say that I'm a dreamer

i feel like i'm drained of my already sparse words.

i'm back from taiwan. if i weren't born in singapore, i'd want to be a taiwanese citizen. there are a few reasons, one i feel proud to be a chinese and i'd choose taiwan over any other chinese provinces. also, even my dad noticed, 7 out of 10 girls encountered on any street is attractive. how come all the superior physical genes are concentrated in taiwan..

but there are negatives, singapore food owns taiwanese food. taiwanese gravy is always too sweet or too salty, it's as if taiwan taste buds are diminished so the food has to be over-flavoured or seasoned. and i absolutely detest the smell of chou tofu.

anyway, i really had lots of fun. there were so many kids on tour with me and my family, which was kind of disturbing since my brothers' paedophilic sensors were overload. they always over react whenever something small that crawls appears in their line of sight.

next weekk, ENLISTMENT. i can't believe it is here already.