Monday, May 21

alas no more worries, math portfolio really drained me for the past four days. i skipped the vj guitar concert, yf on saturday, fortunately not church on sunday, just to make time for the crap.

trying to memorise my aircraft checks right now, got a flight at 8.40 tomorrow morning. i don't want to screw up and get kicked! thus i'm working extra hard for this.. its rare that i get so into something. so rare, the only other example i can think of is my guitar, hmm.

it was ToK day today. darn was it a waste of time, not a complete waste of time but one nonetheless. we had to endure boring talks all the way to 9.30 at night, which means i just got home. lucky for me, i did manage to play some soccer during the dinner break. i have no idea why i'm so awake, even though i slept at 4 and woke up at 5.30 the previous night rushing my portfolio. gosh, i need my coffee. i have a feeling i'll be quite dead in school tomorrow.

oh and if you'd noticed, my old tagboard has returned after much deliberation :D wow the last tag is pretty ancient now.

Sunday, May 20

coffee is really useful. that is not an understatement, my waking hours have been drastically reduced after my 3 in 1 coffee supply ran out on itself. plus i haven't found the time to walk to the cold storage seven minutes away by foot. once again that emphasizes how busy it has been for the average ib student, or it can be attributed by the fact that i haven't been exactly hardworking the past few weeks. i need my coffee, i can't work properly when i can't think properly. actually the part of the body which requires the most rest is the eye! followed by the brain.. it makes sense doesn't it. when you feel tired, you close your eyes you don't retract your limbs right. i mean, right now my legs and hands don't feel as heavy as my eyelids.. correct? sometimes you have to do things to keep yourself awake, like arguing with yourself..

what am i doing blogging when i haven't completed my math portfolio. i was thinking since i have already decided to stay up all night why not squeeze in a little distractions here and there. sunday night is going to be the same too. and there's still church service in the morning -.- sleeping during service is going to become habitual soon at this rate.

i realise some bands really do make nice words out of they're songs.. go listen to meg&dia!

he saw a lonely girl.
she saw a lonely world.
it was a canvas,
slyly careless.
a florescant lieder.

and his was a dying breed.
courage came only from
his symphonies.
a decorative smile
to fade out.
his concerto in A

come on.
a second chance at love.
the moments dead.
make you feel like it's never staying.

made love to a baby grand.
a tempest refined inside his hands.
he had one girl, and one song.
bona fide wine and roulade.

but he had to give it up.
his heart was raw.
but his fingers numb.
his first words were his last words.
an aesthete since first sun.

come on.
a second chance at love.
the moments slept.
make you feel like it's never staying.

it burned.
the first attempt or two.
but i remembered you.
i need that moment back.

please don't, don't don't.
a tremor for death.
ivories that sliced sedatives in half.
relief in the rhine.
washed away regrets.
and let him char before he
carressed the ground.

dear artist you will rise again.
a last arabesque in faint fashion.

come on.
a second change at love.
the moments dead.
make you feel like it's never ending.

it burned.
the first attempt or two.
but i remembered you.
i need that moment back.
please don't forget.

he woke.
a final view of blue.
dear cordias. wet rouge.
relieve romance to graves.
please, please don't forget.

Thursday, May 17

i'm doing work now. like seriously, so that means i'm typing really fast now. so my thoughts are probably not as organized. need to make time.

math portfolio is killing me. and the killing just started, thanks to me idling for the past 6 days or so when i jolly well could have started. ga, no time for regrets now. i remember that rachel has left for the philippines and won't be back for the next one month :( which also reminds me that hilary will be going to the us this coming monday and who knows when i'll get to see her again :( i have a strange feeling she doesn't want to see us g4s thanks to the incident during the conference..

i'm paused here with nothing in my mind at the moment. . . come 20 seconds now..

i shall stop then. finish my portfolio first then life will be as per normal, without hil that is :(

Tuesday, May 15

i was browsing and browsing and i found a coolios picture that hadn't been photoshop. i wonder how na did it..



vague memories..

Wednesday, May 9

when i have no work, and i'm bored, and i have nothing else to do.. i blog. this is the only time i put down my thoughts in words. yea this is the only time.

school is finally coming to a halt. oh how i wish it would come now, like immediately. i must honestly admit that the alluring temptation of a long rest is really overwhelming. i wonder if i'd treat this holiday like the countless others. i've already realised that the stakes of slacking on this one is pretty high, hmm have i mentioned before that i can't stand working on a holiday? common tests, mid-years immediately after the last day of rest, why am i not surprised. its like giving you time off to study, knowing very well that everything will go as they planned because the one at the losing end wouldn't be them, how smart. every man for himself. survival of the fittest. why does society work this way? its as if we were animals with feelings, animals nothing less.

i'm watching matthew's video for his glasgow kiss performance at s.l.a.m. he's good as always. sometimes i do envy his talents for music, mind you he sight reads like a computer. darn, this kinda makes me regret (abit) the decision of disbanding. now i can't even remember why i had that initial feeling of discontent, which makes me regret even more. its like an unfulfilled calling, if no one objects me saying this, i have to play the guitar. and no place more fulfilling than in a grouop. those satisfying times.. i eventually realise that uncurbed anger does breaks close ties, and no relationship is too close to be shielded from the wrath of rage. why why why. and those movies on time travel don't serve any help in resolving the question of whether this mistake can be rectified, which makes this very very frustrating. which makes me really really want to listen to lamb of god. which wears me out. it is times like this that you come to see that saying sorry is one of the hardest things to do. pride is at stake. what if rejection is the reply you get, what if..

i need sound advice, and at the moment i see none. there is a way, but that route i've isolated too long to pick up again. just too long.

Sunday, May 6

i finally got my first flight :D

now i'm prepared to sacrifice school hours for flying hours.

Thursday, May 3

i had cake in my face today, and i made sure sarah got her fair share too :D

i still haven't done my first flight, and that has put me in quite a bad mood. i know that day will eventually come, but looking at the progress chart of my fellow students who started out with me, it kinda saddens me :(

i'm probably going to sacrifice lots of school hours to make up.. soon.

Wednesday, May 2

first time patrick didn't look so dumb floating around, he actually made my heart warm.

thank you all.

mummy and daddy for financial support :D
grandma for more financial support :D
jana bernard hengzhong hilary and michelle, for conspiring with my sister and parents to arrange a pleasant surprise
wilbur for floating around XD
my sis for conspiring
junipher for her chilli sauce, photo film and green-striped polo-shirt in a happy meal :D
serene for helping my sister, and letting me home early
op for her apple crumble!
chloe for the nice note on my handphone, and kaya buns
sarah for her lollipop, i need to give her something in return hmm..
the rest who wished me through messages, handshakes and hugs :D

i loved the movie, the lunch and the chocalate cake.

ahh fourcast i love you! :D guess i'd have to live with patrick floating around for a few days, until he eventually deflates.