Mach 2.5+

i spent a day at the saf career center and boy is it boring. once i signed my deeds and enlistment form, the rest of the day was free and easy provided i stay within the confinements of the building.

so i ended up reading every darn recruitment brochure :) and still i had time to spare. plenty of time.

i'm officially a pilot trainee with rsaf now :D i really really really can't wait to start flying, but that won't happen for at least a good 5 months as i stay grounded in singapore. which actually gives me alot of time to plan out what i want to learn during this period and what i'll eventually leave behind when i go to australia for at least 6 months.

i'm thinking of someone now, but she now resides in a foreign land and my thoughts cannot actualize. i realize how i've been blindly foolish. i looked at the recent events occurring around me from a third-person's perspective, much like a reader reading a novel written in the narrative, where i realize how dumb some of the narrator/protagonist's actions can be. i'd judge him, and start coming up with instant alternatives and solutions. i just did that a moment ago, to myself, oh boy. i really am a crappy person when it comes to relationship man, sometimes i find myself doing things that i'd regret 5 seconds later but find it almost impossible to rectify thereafter. i'm a fool.

i'm a fool.

The Air Force, Above All

i've finished army service term! 14 weeks just like that. thank God i didn't sustain any injuries, less my loose knee cap which occasionally gives me problems.

i realise i've been blogging in intervals, whenever there's a major break i find the time to put in a few words here.

anyway, i'll be posted to air force recruitment center starting next monday, for a week until air force service term starts. then, i'll be heading back to air wing, ocs, safti.

to say the least, i am really excited about the prospect of becoming a pilot trainee. if all else goes well, in two years time i will be a military pilot :)

'Don't think about it as a crossroad choice where there's no turning back, but rather look ahead into the bright, wonderful, cloud-filled future you're going to have. It's going to be tough, you're going to question yourself at times wondering why you chose this path, but persevere on and I promise, cross bestie's heart, that life has its way of working itself out.'

i got this 2 days ago from someone so far away yet so close to my heart <3 it is comforting to know that i have someone who recognizes and wants to share the problems i face. especially now when i feel so much more lonely than before i enlisted into the army.

i've sorted out my thoughts. the reason i have been unhappy and troubled lately was because my motivations were directed towards wanting a high-flying career which promised prestige and, i dare say, better financial prospects. do i really want that? my laid-back lifestyle during my schooling years is more than enough proof to disproof my recently found motivations. i'm not going to return to my happy-go-lucky days, but am i really suited to become a future chief of air force? i just don't see that. so yup, i'm just going to do what i love, enjoy it and yet not having to worry about personal finances. what better way to live life but to make a living doing what i love. this way i will never look back with regret.

looking back at the past 14 weeks, i will never say they were wasted.

i've fired the sar21 sharpshooter, m203 grenade launcher, ultimax 100 section automatic weapon, general purpose machine gun, matador anti-tank weapon and the bangalore torpedo in the 14 weeks. i've done fire and movement an innumerable number of times, dug so much soil and kissed the floor for the smallest mistakes. sure i've been through hell loads of shit, sometimes was treated like one, but i've come out of it a better person, seriously. i've learnt new ways to lead, manage resources and people. there's just something about the army that contrasts so much with the normal civilian life, yet somehow gratifies me in a certain way i cannot explain.

i'll cherish the roller coaster 14 weeks in delta and the friends i've found in some.

above all, i will put it and the days ahead into God's hands.

I have set the LORD always before me:
because he is at my right hand,
I shall not be moved.

Therefore my heart is glad,
and my glory rejoiceth:
my flesh also shall rest in hope.

Psalm 16:8-9

above all, haha.