educated, with money. he's well-dressed, not funny

i fell sick again this week.

monday's 7km was in its entirety, exhausting. ran a temperature and it didn't subside even after a night's rest. i got 2 days mc and i felt better on thursday. then friday came and i knew i was running a fever, but i didn't report sick for various reasons. my throat became sore, i caught a flu and my fever didn't subside despite being in an air-conditioned environment the entire day. the day went by extremely slowly.

there's just too many things going on next week that i can't miss, on top of that me is cwc next week. i guessed as much, it'll be my best chance to perform for service term.

a splitting headache has been plaguing me this entire week and the number of panadol i've popped can't be counted with my fingers. hopefully i feel much better tomorrow.

nobody knows nobody knows..

the interview got postponed, i was slightly relieved and irritated at the same time. i wasted a trip down, and the cab fare could have been used wiser.

i should be happy right:

i'm going back today, coming out on saturday and back on sunday. i will be with new people, new faces and learning new things. i'm moving a step closer to my aim.

somehow, it never ever feels complete, i never ever feel complete, there's always something missing. i'm on a quest to complete myself, a neverending directionless one.


lyrics for Her Morning Elegance - Oren Lavie

i would give you a penny if you tell me your thoughts. heck, i'd do anything.

red spots and polka dots

i've got the rashes! food allergy of some sort, i have no idea what defiled thing i ate though, nothing special to note.

4 days outpatient leave is many days. i'll be going to air wing on a thursday night 8pm. i hate it when i start on the wrong foot, or a foot late. it makes me feel uneasy to miss something everyone else is attending. not to mention i will have catching up to do, oh catching up i hate that too. it reminds me, though, of the 5 months i spent brushing up on my academics before it was too late, those 5 months were intense, and i came out feeling oh so proud i made it out alive in one piece, with good grades too heh.

yesterday's encounter with the doctor is one i cannot forget. i got pricked a total of 8 times. the young male doctor was trying to find my thin vein amidst red rashes, he tried 6 times in vain (vein haha, not funny). he switched hands, left to right and back again countless times, and pricking positions. i never knew you could draw blood from the opposite side of the palm and at the side of the wrist. which meant i had to watch and go through 6 cycles of him slapping my skin to make the vein surface, and then poking me, finally shifting the needle about nervously (under my skin) trying to find the elusive vein. i will always remember when i glanced at him, he would shake his head subtly, as if trying to tell me this was another failed attempt. yes and 6 failed attempts it was. until eventually on the 7th, he found blood, but not plenty. so he used that hole to inject the medication. then came the 8th, which he said was the easiest to carry out, but the most painful. i vaguely recall flinching at that point. he told me he was going to draw blood from the underbelly of my wrist, where the vein was most prominent. it was easy alright, and as painful as it was easy.

nonetheless, my rashes are still here and i hope they go away fast. they look horrible, not to mention the itch which sucks totally.

anyway, i have an interview tomorrow! for the SAF Academic Scholarship (Military). i hope i do well too, God-willing :) i'm preparing for it now.

hot n cold

of all the dreams in the world, this is my biggest :)

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
















i'm going out after lunch, to roam the streets and feel less of a bum. cos this week has been one bummy ride.